We find our tears

Part of the reason women are so tired is because we are spending so much energy trying to “keep it together.” So much energy devoted to suppressing the pain and keeping a good appearance. “I’m gonna harden my heart,” sang Rindy Ross. “I’m going to swallow my tears.” A terrible, costly way to live your life and part of this is driven by fear that the pain will overwhelm us for we will be consumed by our sorrow. It’s an understandable fear – but it is no more true than the fear we had of the dark as children.
Grief, dear sisters, is good. Grief helps to heal our hearts. Why, Y’Shua himself was a “Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” (Isa. 53:3)
Let the tears come. Get alone, get to your car or your bedroom or the shower and let the tears come. Let the tears come. It is the only kind thing to do for your woundedness. Allow yourself to feel again. And feel you will – many things.
Anger. That’s okay. Anger’s not a sin (Eph. 4:26).
Remorse. Of course you do.
Fear. Yes, that makes sense. Y’Shua can handle the fear as well. In fact, there is no emotion you can bring up that Y’Shua can’t handle. (Look at the Psalms – they are a raging sea of emotions).
Let it all out.As Augustine wrote in his Confessions, “The tears . . . streamed down, and I let them flow as freely as they would, making of them a pillow for my heart. On them it rested.” Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered. It mattered. You mattered. That’s not the way life was supposed to go.
There are unwept tears down in there – the tears of a little girl who is lost and frightened.
The tears of a teenage girl who's been rejected and has no place to turn.
No one understands the tears of a woman whose life has been hard and lonely and nothing close to her dreams.
Let them come it is a cleansing.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rabbi, I respect your teachings to me

Anonymous said...

good work

Anonymous said...

Joy was really blessed with your email. It touched her heart and she was so appreciative of the encouragement it gave her. I forwarded her your notes