Parenting

Col. 3:20-21 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the L-rd. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Prov. 4:1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
Prov. 17:6 Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.
Prov. 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Job 12:12 Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?
Psalms 103:17 But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children-- 18 with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.
Proverbs 5:1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom, listen well to my words of insight, 2 that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge.
Proverbs 13:1 A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke.
Proverbs 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
‘Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.
Matthew 15:4 For God said, `Honor your father and mother' and `Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.'
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother "--which is the first commandment with a promise-- 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
1 Timothy 3:4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.
1 Timothy 5:8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Hebrews 12:11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
The Oral Laws say:
418. Positive – Deut. 6:7 and you shall teach them diligently to your children
It is a command for every person to be familiar with the Laws of the Torah.
In Judaism, this is applied by everyone having a specific time each day to study Torah. Traditionally Jews believe that in this command is the obligation of every father to teach his children.
In the Mishneh 5:21 it gives the rules of how ancient Jews were instructed including when they started with the Torah. We are told that the children were taught:
1. First from the book of Leviticus for ritual purity and how to approach G-d by sacrifice and offering.
2. Then the book of Psalms to understand the nature of G-d before going on to other things.
Possibly this is what Y’Shua meant when He referred to people coming to Him as a child in Matt. 18:2-4 ‘in child like purity.’
1. At the age of 10 one was fit for the study of the words of the Oral Law. Some Scholars believe it was the Oral Law that the ancient children were questioned about on the steps of the Temple, as in the case of Y’Shua in Luke 2.
2. At the age of 13 one was old enough to fulfill the commandments and be numbered with the believers of Israel.
3. At the age of 15 one was ready to study the Sages
4. At the age of 18 for marriage
5. At the age of 20 for pursuing a vocation. Y’Shua is called both son of Joseph the carpenter and Y’Shua the carpenter in the book of Mark. Obviously Joseph had followed this pattern and that his son his vocation.
6. At the age of 30 one entered into the full vigor of his ministry as we see Y’Shua doing in the gospels.
7. At the age of 40 one was old enough to have attained knowledge
8. At the age of 50 one was fit to become a counselor as in the case of the older teaching the younger.
33. Positive – Ex. 20:12 Honor your father and your mother
This has to do with helping one’s parents and raising their status. Generally, it concerns providing them with food, drink, and clothing, the basic care when and if they are unable to do it themselves.
Jewish tradition states that we are not to shame our parents nor display anger at them, but to remain silent in such cases when anger is unavoidable. You are to remain silent in reverence of Hashem, the King of Kings, who commanded you to do this. It is highly improbable that a child can ever repay the parents for the strenuous efforts put forth in raising and caring for them during infancy through childhood.
Also, this command along with the exhortation to honor those in authority points to respect for G-d behind the principle of authority (1 Tim. 2:1-2). Paul points out that this was the first commandment with promise in Eph. 6:1-3. The promise is that all may be well with you and that you may live long upon the earth. The idea is that rebellious children who dishonored the parents by idolatry or such things were punished by stoning in Ex. 21:16 and Deut. 5:16.
Two things we are to do for our parents in awe of G-d is to obey and honor, if there is a conflict and honoring can be done from a distance.
212. Positive – Lev. 19:3 you shall revere his mother and his father
It was not only a tradition, but also a command to stand in awe of one’s parents.
There were several ancient traditions, fences that helped reinforce this command including the child not being able to stand, or sit in the usual place were his parents stood or sat.
It was forbidden for a child to contradict his parents, or even to say that a person arguing with his parent was right. The children were not permitted to call his parents by name. Any actions that reduced the honor towards the parents were forbidden.
There was a safeguard concerning this Law that permitted the child to ignore the parent’s instruction if for any reason it transgresses any of the commandments.
The purpose for the Torah mentioning the mother before the father in this command is to reinforce the idea of equal respect for both parents since in ancient times it was the natural tendency to respect the father more.
238. Negative – Lev. 19:17 you shall not hate your kinsman in your heart
This is thought to be one of the most damaging sins because other evils grow out of secrets sins held against another that has been kept inside one’s heart. This is the reason we are told to go to another and settle these before they grow into worst sins.
242. Negative - Lev. 19:18 do not bear a grudge against your kinsfolk
We are forbidden to bear a grudge over the harm any Believer brought upon us. This relates to the recollection and verbal expression of resentment with regard to another’s actions or words. We are commanded to act as if it never happened. We often cannot do this without the help of G-d, so we must call upon Him to strengthen us.
The Mishneh mentions this concept by, The reward is in proportion to the exertion. This is the idea Y’Shua is teaching in Matt. 9:29- Be it unto you according to your excursion.
257. Positive – Lev. 19:32 you shall rise before the age and show deference to the old
It is still done by some G-d fearing students and Orthodox Jews today that when a Torah Scholar passes within six feet of them the individual will stand up and stands still until the Scholar passes by. (I would like to see that respect shown).
In a similar fashion, we are commanded to rise in the presence of the elderly individual 70 years ole, plus, whether a scholar or not, provided the individual is not wicked or irreligious. In Jewish groups the Torah Scholars are always shown special attention such as letting them speak first, receiving the highest honor, at gatherings sitting at the front table and being served first among various other things.
Studying was considered the highest form of worship, recognition was a sign of appreciation, and encouragement, for what they learn was passed down to you.
Reverence to the elderly for all their years of gathering wisdom, they paid the price and earned the respect.
260. Negative – Lev. 20:9 if any man repudiates his father or his mother, he shall be put to death
A child is forbidden to curse his parents, even after their death. If an individual cursed his parents using one of the proper names of Hashem, he was deserving of the death penalty by stoning. If he curses them using an attributive name, the punishment was lashes, as is the case when cursing another Jew.
Specifically forbidden in Scripture is the cursing of G-d, parents, and the deaf.
589. Negative – Deut. 24:16 parents shall not be put to death for children
The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.
It was forbidden to accept the testimony of one who is closely related to the individual being tried.
According to Torah, only paternal relatives disqualify as witnesses, but the sages enlarged that to include the testimony of maternal relatives not to be accepted as well.
Lev. 19:32 Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man,
The future brings:
Matt. 10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
2 Tim. 3:2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
Both Scripture and behavioral psychology affirm the importance of parenting practices on a child's development. Theologically, such practices occur within the context of a covenantal relationship between a parent and child that is grounded in love and discipline that reflect the love and discipline of G-d the Father.
In today’s economy as in the old, children were to rise up and take care of their parents onto death. As usual, the advisory has changed it to be the parents still providing for their children when they are of age, plus help raising their grandchildren. No wonder the future holds such a dim few! We have crippled our children to stand on their own two feet and take up their own responsibilities. Life’s lessons are hard to learn but parents need to stand back and allow them to make their own mistakes, go through their own troubles so that they can grow to maturity. ‘Possibility’ of changing future events to a happier ending for all.