Dairy of a mad woman

While driving on a mission trip with my son and grandson, we went through 8 states, (Ill, Ind., Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Ontario, Mich., and Wisconsin). We drove way into the wee hours of the night.
Stay alert and awake, one must support their life long habits, so I opened the windows in the cool of the night to let the smoke roll out. Now I do believe you reap what you sow – and it seems especially that way when sowing bad seeds. By morning I was hacking and hacked my way though the rest of the day. I think I went just a bit too far and overdosed on tobacco. I have not coughed like that since I was seven years old just learning how to smoke. I am a slow learner, so it took me a week of puking out my guts before I learned not to swallow the smoke. Now I am three score years old; do you think it is time to get serious about quitting to become an over-comer?
During the course of this mission trip we traveled over a few too many high bridges. It’s amazing how one’s terror and fright becomes another’s amusement, as they look for a way to prolong it. Don’t people stop to wonder what caused the trauma to begin with?
Well, what it did for me was made me determined not to become another’s entertainment. Towards the end we were breezing over the high drop-off bridges without me giving them much thought, since I chose not let it bother me anymore and trust my care in the hands of the Father.
Maybe, just maybe, I have overcome the flashbacks of being held and swung over a trestle with rushing water flowing over mountains of sharp rocks below, threatened to be dropped if I did not submit to their whims. “Now I loved water, but it was those sharp rocks that told me I would be a goner”.
Lots of construction in all the states, start, stop, and roll a little. “Ok L-rd, You know patience is not even in my vocabulary.” “It is now!” He seemed to replay, “Relax and enjoy; it’s going to be a long ride if you don’t embrace it.”
Conversations came and conversations went. I enjoyed the silence as well as the interacting. This loner has grown! I learned when to speak and when to stay silent.
We saw all types of people, from many races with different customs. But if you look very closely they are not so different after all. All seem to have the same emotions, family, and friend connections. The Father just planted souls in different packages, but all of them belong to Him.
This road of life has many twists and turns, many hills and valleys. Liken unto all the construction, there is an ongoing vigilance of the driver required to avoid all the pitfalls. Some we fall into by ourselves and some we are pushed into.
Who has the control is the issue? Now I am getting mad!! I used to say, “I don’t get mad, but I do get even.” I am renewing my mind on this mission trip; taking the control back from the adversary and letting it go to the Father. I am tired of being blown around by any wind heading in my direction.
It’s a new day and there is a change in the atmosphere! This mad woman has come back to town and she is taking control of what has been broken or twisted. No more roller coaster rides for me. No more pits to be thrown into. This road is being paved into a smooth straight path. Whatever remaining scores of years that I have left are going to be enjoyable and relaxed.
You’re in the drivers seat – you can determine your destination. Take back what was stolen from you. Make better choices as you go down the path of life. If you lose your peace, go back to where you lost it and recapture it. Create your own atmosphere. What kind of air do you want to breathe? Want stress free – make it so!
“I’m scared L-rd!” I cried, “You know how I hate failing. I would rather not even try it if I am going to fail. Do You plan on putting me into a padded cell to bounce off the walls? This has been my best friend who was always there to get me through the tough times. It has helped me build up a high tolerance to pain. Ya, I know, I know it is a lie straight from the pit of hell – but I bought it hook line and sinker.
I told You to leave this as the last big pit to climb out – but we are getting closer to dealing with it now, huh?
I know You can, and do, use even one from a pit – but You said if I want to go further in my calling I must get out - or at least try.
I have been a victim; then a survivor; now a thriver – now I will T-R-Y one last attempt to become free. If You will, give me the mind set needed before I get to three score plus one. I am going to shoot past the sky as the limit, for the more You give the more I will want, and nothing is impossible with You!”
This next journey I must travel alone with You. Win, lose or draw I will be used of You – the question is to what degree do I wish to flow. Let this mad woman stay in the right frame of mind to kick the right butts.
Has this road trip accomplished all it was meant to? It certainly was far more than I bargained for.
Now I wait for the mindset before stepping out – “if You’re busy, feel free to take Your time.”

If I make it to the end, stay tuned for the sequel: “Shattered Glass.”