Polygamy Prevails

[2 Sam. 13:1] And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.
David had older sons who also had a claim to the throne. Of these Ammon, Absalom, and Adonijah appear to have staked their claims for the throne. The accounts that follow in verses 1-20:26 are therefore meant to show why these persons were disqualified from being the successor to David.
Absalom and Tamar were directly half brother and sister, born to David through the Aramaic princess from Geshur (Maachah), whereas Amnon had a different mother. Amnon loves his half-sister Tamar because she is beautiful. According to Lev. 20:17 marriage between a half brother and a half sister is discouraged, though that Law comes from a later period.
The virgin Tamar lives in a different place from Amnon, so it is not possible for Amnon to meet her in private. The desire for Tamar was not motivated by true love; rather, it was the mere lust of the flesh. Virginity is still a pre-condition for marriage for women in most Asian countries. Unmarried daughters were kept in close seclusion from the company of men; no strangers, nor even their relatives of the other sex, being permitted to see them without the presence of witnesses. Of course, Amnon must have seen Tamar, for he had conceived a violent passion for her, which, though forbidden by the Law (Leviticus 18:11), yet with the sanction of Abraham’s example (Genesis 20:12), and the common practice in neighboring countries for princes to marry their half sisters, he seems not to have considered an improper connection. But he had no means of making it known to her, and the pain of that disappointment preying upon his mind produced a visible change in his appearance and health.
In Eastern countries, where polygamy prevails, the girls are considered to be under the special care and protection of their uterine brother, who is the guardian of their interests and their honor, even more than their father himself. Amnon should pretend to be sick and request from the king the services of Tamar at his sick bed, and David grants his request. The Israelites appear to have had a strange custom to prove the virginity of a woman. Deuteronomy 22:13-21 refers to the tokens of virginity. These seem to be those clothes that show blood from the first intercourse after a proper marriage, which are than preserved by the girl’s parents as proof of their daughter’s virginity at the time of marriage. The child which Tamar might conceive through intercourse with Amnon would become a shame for her. Her human reasoning of marrying her does not appeal to Amnon, because his human faculties are overpowered by his animal instincts. Tamar is not against having Amnon as her husband; but she objects to being used as an object of his lust, to being raped. Tamar, living ca. 1000 B.E. recalls the stipulation of the covenant, ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’. Tamar not only appeals to Amnon’s reason, but also protests at his physical act. The account of Amnon’s rape of Tamar is given in vivid detail with much realism. The innocent Tamar is caught as a lamb in the mouth of a wolf.
Then Amnon hated her after he raped her, with very great hatred, and Absalom hated Amnon (v. 22). The sin that Amnon committed induced this internal change within him, resulting in the hatred of the one whom he had liked the most. Further it strained his relationship with his brothers and his father, David was very angry (v. 21). The sinful act actually ends in the death of Amnon. (v.28-29).
Tamar resorts to a public mourning so that others may know what happened to her. Otherwise, if she were discovered later to be pregnant, she would have to die on the charge of fornication. Oriental manners would probably see nothing beyond a strong sense of the injury she had sustained, if Tamar actually rent her garments. But, as her veil is not mentioned, it is probable that Amnon had turned her out of doors without it, and she raised her hand with the design to conceal her face.
By these signs, especially the rending of her distinguishing robe, Absalom at once conjectured what had taken place. Recommending her to be silent about it and not publish her own and her family’s dishonor, he gave no inkling of his angry feelings to Amnon. But all the while he was in secret “nursing his wrath to keep it warm,” and only “biding his time” to avenge his sister’s wrongs, and by the removal of the heir-apparent perhaps further also his ambitious designs.
Tamar runs to her brother Absalom. Perhaps her mother is no longer alive and Absalom plays the role of guardian. In a family with many wives and concubines, David apparently had no direct control over his children. He was her natural protector, and the children of polygamists lived by themselves, as if they constituted different families.
In spite of Absalom’s consolation, Tamar dwelt in Absalom’s house as a desolate woman. A woman who can have no more sex and so could not bear children was considered to be desolate. For Tamar marriage with another man has now become impossibility; nor can she return to the house of the virgins. Thus her life becomes desolate.
It does not say what the king David did to render justice to Tamar and to defuse the tension between Absalom and Amnon. He was mad but seemed to do nothing, it was a daughter not one of his precious sons. Nathan’s oracle on David has already begun to take effect: ‘I will raise up evil against you out of your own house’ (12:11). Absalom’s hatred against Amnon is internalized in that he is now devising secret plans to take revenge. Quiet persons, who do not react openly, can be much more dangerous than persons who do react openly. He seems to have already made up his mind; but he does not want to create any suspicion in the minds of Amnon and the other sons of the kings lest his secret plot should be crushed. Absalom waits for two whole years to execute his plans. At the end of that period he celebrates a sheepshearing festival and invites all the sons of the king to be present. At the opportune moment during the festival his servants strike and kill Amnon. And David mourned for his dead son every day. Had David intervened to avenge Tamar, he could have prevented the killing of Amnon.
The feelings of the father triumphed over the duty of the king, who, as the supreme magistrate, was bound to execute impartial justice on every murderer, by the express Law of G-d (Genesis 9:6, Numbers 35:30,31), which he had no power to dispense with (Deuteronomy 18:18, Joshua 1:8, 1 Samuel 10:25). David brings Absalom out of blandishment, whatever error David committed in authorizing the recall of Absalom, he displayed great carefulness and command over his feelings afterwards for his son was not admitted into his father’s presence but was confined to his own house and the society of his own family. This slight severity was designed to bring him to sincere repentance, on perceiving that his father had not fully pardoned him, as well as to convince the people of David’s hatred of his crime in defending his sister. Absalom named one of his daughters Tamar, in memory of his innocent sister.
Through the sins of our for-fathers we can see G-d’s pardon when we repent, but we still have to pay the price for our disobedience in doing G-d’s will.